


Oblivion - 'Slight' Lucius/Severus

by Thats_Enzo_Or_Max_To_You



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 1980's, AU - they went to school together and were friends, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cussing, Hurt/Comfort, I didn't think I would actually finish it, Implied Sexual Content, Lily and James are still alive, M/M, More friendship than relationship, Oneshot, Voldemort isnt a thing, pretending Lucius was born in 1959, probably out of character, they're in their 20's, this was a random thing that happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 15:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8167012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thats_Enzo_Or_Max_To_You/pseuds/Thats_Enzo_Or_Max_To_You
Summary: Lucius Malfoy has invited Severus Snape over to his home, insisting an important matter needs addressing. How hard can it be to face your teenage recklessness as a man? (Please note, that this is super not canon. I wrote most of this before suddenly remembering their age gap. So, through the magic of Fiction I have made Lucius born the year before Severus. I tried to keep them as in character as I possibly could. They are best friends, they grew up together- went to school together. On top of that, they're only in their 20's. Oh and Lily and James are both still living, Peter didn't betray them; mostly because Voldemort never came to be. I figured that would be a fun thing to do. Humor me XD Anyways, hope you guys enjoy this oneshot! Rated T just be safe, implied stuff and a few curse words.)





	

"Severus, thank you for joining me at the manor," Mr. Malfoy states, his back still turned to the other man as they enter Lucius’ personal study. He had dismissed the house elves upon his friend’s very arrival; stating he wanted complete privacy until he leaves. 

"You said you had a very important matter to discuss with me," Snape replies, his tone low and level. Typical Severus, of his adult years anyways. He spoke softer as teenager; his voice was higher and he didn't always have the right words. Now, his words sound like that articulated from a textbook. If those could talk, Lucius muses, they'd sound a lot like Severus does these days.

"Yes, it has been eating away at my mind. I am growing increasingly more regretful; of both telling you now and keeping it from you to begin with," Lucius responds, his tone sounds like that of his mask; forced stoic and, sadly, rehearsed. "Do take a seat Severus; and forgive me for not being able to face you. I fear you'll want to be rid of me after I tell you what I must say." Severus, though curious and quite worried, sits in a warm-red armchair at the equally as posh table they are by.

"I'll admit, you've stolen my curiosity, Lucius," the Hogwarts professor comments, unable to relax into the seat. Mr. Malfoy smiles at the mention of his name. It always sounds so lovely coming from him. Lucius about slaps himself for such thoughts. Now just is not the time for it. The pure-blood trails his fingers over the ancient-looking, yet sturdy wooden bookshelf before him. 

"I know you hate this subject," the blonde starts, swallowing at the sudden dryness in his throat, "but, when we were teenagers ... I- we did something. I Oblivated the memory out of your mind. I knew you would regret it. What we did,” he begins to almost trip over his words. “I did not wish to hurt you. I did the only thing I could think of, a reckless teenager I was ...," Lucius trails off, almost coughing at how dry his mouth has gotten. His hands fidget as his mind rapidly loses interest in everything that is in front of him and below his feet at this moment.

"I suppose if you thought that was the right thing to do, it must have been, to some degree," the raven haired man says, leaning back in the plush chair now just a bit. He looks towards the other male's head, well the back of it anyways. It would be easier to see what he’s up against if his friend would only face him. Though, he assumes this is not an easy thing for the pure-blood to talk about. Just, why though? Lucius does not mean to harm him, does he? Certainly he does not. 

"I'm offering you the memory back," the taller finally gets out, hardly above a whisper. He bites his lip, hating himself for doing this at all. Why couldn't he have just ignored the guilt? That's just it, it wasn't all guilt. It was- and still is, the desire to have back what he only had for less than an hour. Pitiful it is. The blonde should be swimming in shame for his actions; not wishing to do it all again. Let alone craving more. So much more.

"Your tone is telling me otherwise, Lucius," Snape insists, not moving from his place in the velvety chair. If it truly must come down to it, he is sure he would win a duel against this man. As much as he hopes any of their quarrels may never come to such a thing. The pure-blood is not a wizard to be taken lightly, even only in their mere 20’s. Though, the half-blood is not really someone anyone would want to cross either. Two Slytherins, a highly respected Malfoy and a Potions Master. A smart person would want to stay on both of their good sides. 

"Please Severus, don't make this any harder for me than it already is. Just say that you want to have that memory back," the taller of the two is nearly in tears, blinking them back rapidly. Despite all of the questions that swirl in the Potions Master's head, he remains still- though he has the urge to comfort his friend. Snape deems that inappropriate at this point in time. The dark haired man rests his forearms on the wide arms of the chair.

"I would like to see what memory you've taken from me," Severus states, watching calmly as the older male freezes and shakily turns around to face him. The professor considers telling his friend he can live without it at the sight of the blonde's face. His walls have fallen, he's vulnerable and fragile. The shorter can't even remember the last time he saw his friend in that light. Malfoy might have been quick to get offended and standoffish as a child and teenager, but this was something else entirely. 

"I am so sorry, Severus. I hope you can forgive me. I kept this from you for since we were sixteen years old," the taller mutters, placing his wand to his temple; Severus inwardly cringes at the sight. Thankfully, the blonde draws his wand back. Thin, glowing threads follow, seemingly almost attached to the tip of the Elm wood. Lucius closes the distance between them. He aims the wand at Snape's temple, as though he's slowly pushing the memory right in through his skull. It feels like a dull ache, like after you read too much on a single subject and still don't really understand it. The taller practically scuttles backwards the second the spell is complete.

Letting his eyes slip close as the memory comes straight to his conscience, he sees himself from Lucius' point of view. _He's crying softly, clinging to Malfoy. The blonde coos to him, telling him that it's okay and that he cares about him._ Severus begins to remember oh too well of this time period; but he continues to watch. The day James tormented him, more than usual. The day he lost Lily forever. Also known as, quite frankly, the worst day of his life.

_Suddenly, Lucius' lips are on his. What compelled Snape to kiss back is beyond him. It progresses from there. The blonde sends their friends, their dorm mates, away. The teen’s intentions are clear, but Severus is so upset he doesn’t seem to see it at all. Of course, he never fully realizes what’s happening. It just feels good to let out all of his pent up emotions. He kisses back forcefully, gripping at the older boy so tightly that his nails dig into the pale teenager’s skin._

The raven haired male pays close attention to the memory. Slowly, he begins to remember it from his own eyes but his view remains from Lucius’. The blonde’s gentle words and reassurances stick out to him. Had Malfoy ever treated anyone else this kindly? Sure he was friendly and on good terms with most of their house mates, but outside of them … He was not exactly the most pleasant. Severus does have a few fond memories of the blonde secretly getting back at the likes of Potter and Black. The pure-blood got a kick out of hexing those two, but he only did it whenever they would prank or pick on Snape. James and Sirius never did figure out who turned their hair pink for a week. It was Malfoy.

Once the memory fades out, Severus opens his eyes. He just looks at his friend, who's features only show a total muddle of numerous emotions. The conflicting thoughts and feelings would surely drown him if there was a spell to turn them to water- or any liquid for that matter. The complexly negative part of the older male wants such a thing to happen right about now. He is getting close to utterly breaking down as the younger just stares at him; mouth slightly agape. 

"You loved me?" is all the dark haired male can utter; his voice slightly higher and not nearly as stoic. The taller man snaps his gaze to meet the Potions Master’s. The blonde tries to take a breath. Severus tries to wrap his head around this new information. How had he managed to miss it? Did he just never make it obvious? Maybe Snape was simply blinded, most likely by his own love for Lily Evans. 

"Love you, Severus. I love you," Lucius corrects hoarsely, the words leave his lips before he can stop them. Malfoy almost chokes on his own breath at his statement. Silence follows, allowing him to smile just the slightest bit at how positive of a reaction he's getting so far. The half-blood should’ve hightailed it by now. Why hasn’t he? The professor soaks in what’s been said to him. Unfortunately, it isn’t quite taking. The man is not entirely sure how he should reply to that. That damned memory keeps appearing in his mind, more and more of it from his own point of view now. 

"What about your wife ... and Draco?" he questions, wincing internally at his own words. No matter how fair of a question it may be, this is a rather delicate situation. Merlin, he’s lost for words. Lucius’ throat goes dry again. 

"Of course I love them. They are my family. That's another reason I removed the memory. I couldn't have had you even if you wanted me. My father would've rather killed me," the taller confides quickly, looking fiercely at the carpet below his shoes. Severus can only nod. He had heard plenty of stories about Abraxas. 

Hell, when they were in their First Year, Lucius had enthusiastically invited the half-blood over for dinner at the manor during their winter break. While the event itself was actually really nice for the two kids, oblivious to the glares and comments from the blonde’s family. The older got a scolding he would never forget. The, now, Potions Master remembers his friend telling him why he could never come over again. Despite that, they remained friends. 

"I can't believe it. All those years, all these years ... I have been loved, by my best friend nonetheless, and have been blind to it entirely," Snape mutters, more so saying it out loud for his own comprehension. He ponders the thought of spending his life with the man that stands before him. It is a complete impossibility, always has been. He would disgrace the Malfoy name, his impure blood and ‘wrong’ gender. At least he’s welcomed into his home rather than forced away from it these days. 

"You are not disgusted by me?" Lucius asks, sounding surprised; keeping his eyes fixed on the floor. He mustn’t look at his friend now. He needs to focus on putting his emotional and mental walls back into place because he loses his head. This was a terrible idea. Why did he insist on doing such things to himself? The blonde guesses it’s that saying, ‘the risk is worth the reward’. Only one of two things can come out of this, his fellow Slytherin will either push him away or get closer to him. He silently hopes for the latter to be the outcome. 

"Absolutely not,” Severus answers quickly. “Why would I be? I have seen a fair share of homosexuals, both wizarding and muggle alike. Though I never did consider myself one. But, then again, I never did look at many, if any, others after Lily," the raven haired man explains. The pure-blood is absolutely relieved, but he still refuses to look up. There is no point to punishing himself more. He simply cannot fall into some sort of false sense of ‘hope’. “Look at me, Lucius,” the shorter mumbles softly; smiling lightly when the older complies. “I understand; this is not easy for you. Believe me, being a half-blood in Slytherin was no walk in the park for me. Your feelings cannot be ‘helped’, they are only natural.”

“I could care less about your blood, Severus. Your skills are not aided nor hindered by its purity. It took me far too long to realize that. If your tremendous talents in potions does not prove that blood has no effect on a wizard’s performance, then I don’t know what does,” Lucius states, sighing to himself. He tears his grey eyes away from Snape’s onyx ones. His eyes frantically search the carpet for an interesting patch or a loose sting, anything to distract him. 

“If only the entire wizarding world felt that way,” the Hogwarts teacher sighs, leaning back in his chair as much it physically allows. The two men fall into another silence, its fairly comfortable but both have many questions quelling in their conscious’. Severus simply cannot help but imagining how different his life would be if his fellow Slytherin hadn’t Oblivated that memory. He knows deep down it probably would have turned his life into even more of a damn fiasco. 

"I felt so guilty keeping it from you. I feel even more guilty that my own desires were more great than my guilt in convincing myself to do this," Malfoy suddenly pipes up, his voice snagging his friend’s full attention. The pure-blood wizard shakes his head, trying to rid himself of all of the ‘what ifs’. There shouldn’t be any. He knows damn well what would have happened. His father would have disowned him, and that would be the very least that man would’ve done. 

"It is only natural I'd suppose. We may be wizards, Lucius, but we are still human beings," the Potions Master offers, causing his friend to look at him once more. The blonde haired man groans, falling into the nearest chair. He grips at his hair near his scalp, resting his elbows on his thighs as he fixates his gaze on his lap. "What is the matter, Lucius?" Severus inquires gently. 

"I must bite my tongue," the older replies sharply. The taller bites his lip, letting his hands fall away from his lightly colored hair. The bite in his tone was directed towards himself, he would never snap at his raven haired friend. 

"I assure you, I can take whatever you want to say," Snape soothes, wishing he knew what to say that could help his friend. He knows for a fact that anything the man says now; he can certainly handle. It surely cannot be that bad. Even if it is, he is a loyal friend, he always will be. 

"I cannot. I hardly utter the words in my own mind, let alone breath them aloud," Lucius protests, forcing himself to keep his gaze down. He can’t give in. Part of him truthfully doesn’t want to elaborate on his earlier words, another wants to- almost desperately spill his very being to the dark haired man.

"Lucius," Severus says firmly, "you will feel better if you say it out loud to someone you trust. I promise this will stay between us." Malfoy whines slightly, his face heating up and his stomach tightening. He tries to hide behind his long hair. "Tell me, Lucius," Snape encourages, reaching over to brush the blonde locks out of Malfoy's face. This causes the other to look up, pink cheeked and tears prickling sharply at his light colored eyes. The sight of the tear-filled, grey eyes feels like that of a stinging hex to the Hogwarts Professor. 

"I want you, Severus," he mutters breathlessly, clearly leaning into Snape's touch. "I lust after you," he whimpers, a few tears beginning to fall. "It's not just a schoolboy crush. Merlin, it's so much more," he cries out quietly, tears flowing faster. Severus, pushes aside his own thoughts; opting to comfort his best friend who has confided so much in him. He will not break this man's trust, he's fragile enough right now. Above all else, the blonde just needs someone to be there for him. 

"I know this hurts you," Snape mumbles, gently wiping the tears away with his thumb as he cups Malfoy's face. "I am sorry to have caused you this pain.” Lucius quickly shakes his head, sitting up more properly to look at his friend’s face. 

"No. You have not. My pain is my fault. I let myself get this way. I just couldn't forget. I wouldn't erase that night from my own mind. I couldn't," the taller of two explains, "it- it was all I had with you," he admits softly, trying to look away from the professor. The Potions Master refuses to let him, wanting him to see and to understand that this is not a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with how Malfoy feels.

"Easy, Lucius. You're working yourself up. Relax, take a deep breath," Snape hushes, tucking his friend’s long hair behind his ear. The taller male does what his friend says, as though he has told him he had to do it; like he was being forced to take a breath until he can relax. The blonde leans more so into the other man’s touch; fearing he’ll soon lose it forever. 

"I want you, Severus," Lucius whispers painfully, taking a few shaky breaths. “I want to be with you.” The younger runs the backs of his fingers over his cheek. The pure-blood’s eyes fall closed at the gentle, almost caressing touch. It is truly soothing and deeply endearing. He craves more it, much to his own dismay. 

"I know, hush now," Severus coos, continuing the light touches. The taller of the two nods slightly, finding it a bit easier to breathe now. “I will always be here for you, Lucius.” With that, the blonde hesitantly slides his arms around Snape’s neck. In response, the raven haired man pulls his friend against himself; hugging him tightly.

“Always?”

“Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you guys liked it. I had fun writing this one :) 
> 
> -Enzo


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